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RELATIONSHIPS

sexuality in America

If you've just fallen in love

then one of you is totally hysterical, off the wall

and hungrier than a bear in springtime

while the other one is playing it cool,

slightly uncommitted and very cool

Or both of you are hysterical and the passion is great

because you're both doing something you shouldn't be doing

because the whole thing is taboo

and completely impossibe

(and thus totally exciting).

If you're in one that's well established

(read getting old)

you're probably not feeling loved enough

and fantasizing about all the romance and passion

everybody else is getting

when you see couples kissing on the street or in a bar

so you feel that you've been neglecting your emotional life

and that all your narcissistic needs are not being met.

If you're not in one

then you're probably still

grieving for one you can't have

In any of those cases

the healthiest path

is to satisfy the hunger for romance

any way you can without getting caught or arrested

while knowing that sort of

ravenous passion is temporary

and the more you can step back

and treat the person as a real person

the way you treat a friend

you will more likely be able to see that person

as a real person

and not project onto them

fantasies that have nothing to do with them

but everything to do with

your adolescent dreams.